


Through a Glass Darkly

by janescott



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-06-20
Updated: 2010-06-24
Packaged: 2017-10-10 04:58:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/95741
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/janescott/pseuds/janescott
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Summary: For the teamlambliff  AU fic meme. Prompt was: Lambliff!Cat AU. Think Ladyhawke, I want Tommy to be a cat during the day, Adam during the night. Run with it.  Um. My most sincere apololgies to Mr Neil Gaiman and Mr Stephen King. I accidentally wrote this as some kind of fucked-up American Gods/Talisman road trip ... thing. Beta'd by i_bleed_magenta</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Through a Glass Darkly

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Title from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13

**Adam**

Sunset is the most painful time of day. Sunset is when we catch a glimpse – a hint; a brush of movement on the air; that we reach out to touch, but before we can connect – it's gone.

I'm human again, for the duration of the night, and he's ... he's a cat, with pale golden fur and amber-deep eyes. I reach my hand out and he arches up, the same grace he has as a human – or had, rather, as it's been a year since I really saw him as a human – evident in the way he tilts his head.

I run my hand over the smooth soft fur between his ears, feeling the small, rounded skull and my heart thumps once, twice, painfully, before settling back into its normal rhythm.

We swap seats, and he curls up in the passenger's seat, staring at me for a long, long moment before closing his eyes. I settle behind the steering wheel, pushing the seat back, watching as night falls outside. I blink as my slightly duller human senses fall back on to me one by one, and I put my seatbelt on, starting the car.

I glance at the passenger's seat again, and he's curled in a tight ball, his tail over his nose, and it would be endearing if it were not so tragic.

Turning the headlights on, I pull out on to the deserted highway, and put my foot down.

A year ago ... a year ago we had been on top of the world. A year ago, my first world tour was closing out – sold out, critical success ... all of the things that I thought mattered the most to me. Nearly all of the things, I think, glancing at the cat sleeping beside me.

All of the things that I learned _don't_ matter when what I assumed was just another crazed fan somehow got backstage, and cursed us when she saw us – I would swear even today that I had locked that dressing room door – and our lives have never been the same.

She disappeared, of course, and we fell off the radar. Off the grid, and out of the public eye. As soon as we discovered what had happened to us, we told the other band members, our families and friends – a weary process of proving our story true over and over – and set about trying to find her again.

A year later, and nothing. No leads beyond the odd scent caught by one of us in cat form, carried away on the wind. It has taken us in all directions, to all kinds of places – into the very heart of darkness (not mine, I believe, originally, but it certainly fits).

I feel as though I'm living in a Stephen King novel; chasing down a crazed fan who cursed me and Tommy because we dared to be together. Human by day; cat by night, and cursed to never see each other in human form again ... most of the time I don't let myself think about it.

I put my foot down again, and the road disappears under the car, eaten up by the miles. We have to take care on these highways. These are not normal roads. We only ever turn left and sometimes we go around in circles. We spent a month on the same road without realising it – losing time.

The landscape changed, and I believe we both thought we were making progress – as we passed different landmarks – different towns, mountains ... even the ocean at one point. It was Tommy that worked it out, in the end. He left me a note saying we needed to switch directions, because we had been going around in circles for a month.

In a way we still are.

**Tommy**

I fucking hate sunrise. I never even thought about it before. But a year of this – a year of nothing but glimpses of dark hair, and blue eyes, before he turns into a cat? Yeah. If we ever get off this trip, I'm never watching the sun rise again.

He's parked by the side of the road, and I can see a gas station in the distance. We need gas, but you gotta be careful out here – gas stations aren't just gas stations in the Outlands. Sometimes they're Waystations as well. The first time we stopped at one we nearly didn't make it out alive. Nearly ended up as fucking freakshows in the Carnival.

Carnival's another story, though.

I watch Adam – sleek and black as a cat with blue eyes still – settle on the passenger's seat and say, "I'm gonna head for that gas station. I know it's a risk, but I might be able to use my phone there. Call our families."

He squeezes his eyes at me and I sigh. "Yeah, I know. But we need gas for this fucking tank as well. So we gotta stop either way."

Adam huffs a breath out through his nose, and curls up on the seat, staring at me until his eyes are just blue slits. "Sleep," I say. "Might as well. I'll get gas, and food, and call your mom, okay?"

I tighten my grip on the wheel of the car – some old boat of a thing from 1950-something that Adam traded his Mustang for before we headed to the Outlands. Newer cars just don't work out here. I want, I need ... I let my eyes drift over to where Adam's curled in a ball on the seat and I sigh. No point wanting or needing now, Tommy, I say to myself as I start the car.

I swallow hard against the ache that's a permanent fixture and head for the gas station.

"You wanna get out of the car?" I ask as I park up by one of the pumps and kill the engine. Adam moves and stretches in the seat, arching his back. My fingers twitch and I remember ... no point going there, either.

He blinks at me and I say, "C'mon then." I get out of the car, and open the passenger door. I'm starting to fill the car when the door of the station itself opens, and a girl comes out. Young, I think, but you can't really tell out here, her hair is a knot of long blond dreadlocks that make me think of LP for a second.

Adam's lounging on the hood of the car, his black fur shining in the sun.

"Hey," the girl says, "Help you?"

"Just gas, and a few supplies for the road," I say, easy but cautious.

She's got green eyes, but, like, light green eyes, which look a little strange. She flicks a look from me to Adam and back again, nodding as though something's been confirmed.

"I know who you are," she says, suddenly and a little loud.

I shrug, unimpressed. "Everyone in the Outlands knows who we are," I say.

"Maybe. But not everyone in the Outlands can help you."

Uh huh. Heard that before. I shrug and say nothing as I pull the pump out and close the fuel cap.

She shifts until she's standing in front of the hood of the car. "My name's Aurora. You're Tommy, right? And this is Adam." She reaches out a hand towards Adam and I watch as he leans his head forward and cautiously sniffs at her fingers. He glances back at me before letting her slide her fingers over his head.

Well. Okay.

"Help how?" I ask. Human or cat, Adam's instincts are better than mine, and he seems to trust her.

"You're going the wrong way," she says, not taking her eyes off Adam as she strokes down his back.

"We were told to go left," I say, even as my heart sinks. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck!

"And that was the right direction," Aurora says, turning to look at me for the first time. "Until now. I know where she is. She's in the Wasteland. And to get to the Wasteland, you have to turn right."

The Wasteland. I look at Adam, sitting up on the hood of the car now, his front paws neatly together as he stares at me. We knew it might come to this. The Wasteland.

No one knows much about the Wasteland – not even the Outlanders. All we know (I can't help myself. I still say 'we'. And we communicate, in a way. Scratched, hasty notes, mostly) is that it's the place you don't want to end up in your fucking nightmares.

Aurora's still speaking, and I tune back in.

"What she did to you both ... it's forbidden. Even out here. Transformation like this – it's been banned for centuries. She had to go into hiding.

"She was crazy about you, you know," she says to Adam. "Thought you were destined, or some bullshit. We tried to tell her – about you both, but she wouldn't listen. Destiny," Aurora sighs, as she strokes over Adam's head again, scratching at the spot between his ears that make his eyes close in a certain way.

The Wasteland. But ... "We could find her," I say to Adam, stroking my own hand over his glossy flank. "This – this could be over ..."

_I could have you back_, but I don't let myself think that. I can't.

Aurora looks at both of us, squinting her green eyes against the high sun. "C'mon. I'll help you stock up, show you which way to go."

We follow her back into the station – pretty well-stocked by Outland gas station standards and I start filling a shopping cart while Adam roams the aisles.

"What's the catch? With going to the Wasteland," I ask as Aurora puts the purchases through and I fumble in my wallet for the only fucking credit card that works out here and thank God, or whoever, that Adam had a good business manager before, because his earnings have been keeping us going for the past year, although sometimes even money doesn't work out here. Especially at a Waystation.

"Put your card away," Aurora says as she bags the groceries – mostly bottled water and the kind of food that can keep for a long time in the back of a car – and I wait for the real price.

"I'll tell you the catch," she says, leaning over the counter, folding her arms so her breasts push up against the tight t-shirt she's wearing. "If you let me see ... the transformation. I've never seen one."

I rub at the side of my nose and sigh, as Adam jumps up on to the counter. Means she'll get to talk to him, which is maybe what she's after. I don't care. I'm fucking tired. We can't risk another gas station – we could go for months without new information like she might have. Besides ... "Fine. It'll be nice not to be fucking driving all day."

"Come in the back," she says, lifting the counter divider. "I'll find you something to eat and you can crash on the couch in the break room."

There's a ratty couch back there, and I sit lengthways, stretching my legs. We should be cautious, maybe, because we're at a Waystation, but fuck it. I'm _tired_. Adam settles on my legs, looking at me with those impossible blue eyes. I stroke my hand down his back, and he headbutts my forehead, purring.

"This could be over soon," I say quietly as I run my hand over his fur, and try not to think about how long it's been since I felt his skin under my fingers.

He squeezes his eyes at me again, before settling against my torso, tucking his paws under, his purring reverberating through me. It's not much, and it's nothing compared to what we had, but it's something, I guess.

I dig my phone out of my pocket (I stopped wondering a long time ago where the things we keep in our pockets go when we transform. I don't care anymore) and call Adam's mom, leaving her a message that I hope she understands – the line is full of static and the power's nearly down.

I call my mom real quick, and leave her a message as well. It's all I can do before the power bar fades away.

Aurora comes through, juggling a plate, a saucer with something – tuna, I think – and a couple of drinks. She puts everything down on the little table in front of the couch and says to Adam, "Don't worry. It's not catfood. And it's safe to eat here."

Some Waystations, you gotta avoid the food. That's how we nearly ended up in the Carnival last time. Adam jumps on to the table and noses at the saucer – tuna all cut up – before he starts eating. Aurora hands me the sandwich and puts a can of coke on the table.

"Thanks. Hey – can you charge my phone for me?" Sometimes the Waystations have weird power-spots that can charge anything.

"Sure. There's a Spot under the front counter. I'll be out there if you need anything else, okay?"

I nod around a mouthful of food, mumble thanks, and notice she's left a bottle of water and a second saucer. I pour some out for Adam and watch as he takes a drink.

It's been a year like this and still ... "This is so fucked-up," I say, stretching out on the couch again. Might as well get some sleep if I can, before we change again. Adam lands on me, light and sure. He stretches out, and soon his purring sends us both over the edge.

**Adam**   
"Tommy?" I can see him. He's right in front of me. And – "You're human. _Tommy_."

He turns around slowly – we're somewhere green, I think. Or maybe near the ocean; I can hear waves.

"Adam. Adam, you're dreaming. You gotta wake up."

I'm not listening. I don't move at all, but I'm right in front of him, and I can touch his face, his skin smooth under my fingers. I slide my fingers over the stubble on his jaw, and it has to be real. It _has_ to.

I lean my forehead against Tommy's and close my eyes. "If it's a dream ... can't we just stay here? Why not? I want to stay here. With you."

Tommy curls his hands into my shirt, holding on tight. "We'll die," he says, softly."Out there, in the world, we'll _die_. Even if we stay at the Waystation, and Aurora helps us ... sooner or later we'll die. You have to wake up."

I don't want to. I don't want to let go of him. I want to stay in this – he pinches me suddenly, hard -

I blink awake, and I'm human again. We're outside, and the sun is going down behind the distant horizon. Tommy's watching me with his amber-cat eyes wide, and Aurora's there, too, her mouth wide open.

She snaps it shut and says, "Fucking _amazing_!"

"Happy to entertain you," I say, opening the car door for Tommy to jump in. I stroke over his head and body just once, the human Tommy from my dream still fresh in my mind and my heart _aches_.

"Okay," I say, turning back to Aurora. "What's the big secret for finding The Wasteland?"

She blinks once, her remarkable green eyes disappearing and reappearing, and I think of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, for some reason.

"You can only drive the roads to The Wasteland at night. That's the only time you can see them. Always turn right. And don't stop for anyone, or anything, until you see the big yellow house on top of the cliff. That's where she's hiding."

"How do you know all this? About her, I mean," I ask as I glance in the back seat at the water and supplies Tommy bought.

Aurora looks at me again, and an impossible grief shadows her eyes for a moment before it flickers and is gone.

"She's my mother. And I'm so, so sorry. I hope ... I hope you get your lives back."  
Impulsively I give her a hug, her dreads tickling over the backs of my arms.

"Thank you. For everything. If we can ever help you ..."

I hear a catch as she lets out a sob, just one, against my chest. Gently she pushes me away and says, "You'll be the first to hear about it. Thank you for .... letting me see. What she did, I mean. It – helped."

I'm not sure what she means by that, but I just smile and say, "Thank you."

"Remember: turn right. And you'll see the road that you need to take."

I get in the car, adjust the seat and glance at the rear-view mirror as we hit the road again. Aurora raises her hand once, her arm pale and blurry in the dark, and then she's gone.

Right, I think, turning the wheel. There's no road, at first, and it's bumpy, we're driving over some kind of field. I turn the headlights on to high beam, and then I see it. It's the faintest outline, but it's glowing.

I set my eyes forward, and follow the path. Down the rabbit hole, follow the yellow brick road ... we're off to see the woman that ruined both of our lives.


	2. Now Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the teamlambliff AU fic meme. Prompt was: Lambliff!Cat AU. Think Ladyhawke, I want Tommy to be a cat during the day, Adam during the night. Run with it. Um. My most sincere apololgies to Mr Neil Gaiman and Mr Stephen King. I accidentally wrote this as some kind of fucked-up American Gods/Talisman road trip ... thing. Beta'd by i_bleed_magenta  
> Title from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13

**Adam**  
I drive through the night, following the path that I can barely see. I glance at Tommy, curled up and asleep beside me.

 

"I miss you," I say, quiet as I can as I drive. "This is so fucked up, and we can't ... I miss you," I say again, glancing down to find Tommy awake, and staring at me.

 

"I know, I know," I say, turning my attention back to the road. In one of our early exchanges by note, we'd agreed not to talk about it. That it was going to be hard enough to get through without ... but I can't help myself. So I keep talking around the permanent ache in my chest that always makes me feel like I'm having a heart attack.

 

I look over, and he's still staring at me, his eyes glinting in the faint light the path is throwing back into the car. Sighing I resettle in my seat and say, "Change of subject? Or should we just drive?"

 

He blinks at me in that slow, lazy way that I remember, and I feel a squeeze in my chest for a second because it's _so Tommy_ and I can't – "Okay. Just ... drive. Go back to sleep."

 

I drive until I see the night sky start to lighten. I pull over and search the bags in the back, hoping – there. Tommy's got notebooks and pencils.

 

_I don't know how much you heard, because you were already in the car, but Aurora said we couldn't drive in the Wastelands during the day; because you can't see the road. So I've parked the car, and I guess we're stuck until tonight, which means I'll be doing all of the driving until we – we find her. So just – hang out, and be careful. Aurora said not to stop for anyone or anything, and I'm guessing she meant during the day, too. I mean, we're stopped, obviously, but – fuck. Just – be careful, okay? I – oh, fuck it. I love you and I miss you and this is so – be careful._

 

I put the note on the dashboard and get out of the car, opening the passenger door as the sun rises over the horizon. A flash of light-blond hair, and dark eyes, and my world shifts again.

 

**Tommy**

 

We don't really need to leave notes for each other. I know I retain stuff Adam tells me when I'm in cat-form, so I guess he does, too. It's just a way for us to keep contact with the Adam and Tommy we know – our _human_ selves.

 

So I scan his note, sitting on the hood of the car. Fucking great. I'm stuck here all fucking day. I fold it up, though, and put it in my pocket.

 

A year ago, we used to leave, like, fucking novels for each other. But that got to be too hard, and they dwindled after a while. It's fucking hard enough, being around him without being able to talk to him properly, or touch, or ... I push those thoughts aside and go open the trunk, where we've got some books, changes of clothes, and junk that we've built up over the year. Not as much as you'd think, but the trunk's getting pretty full.

 

I shove through the stuff in there, finding a book. Not much of a reader, but I gotta do something, stuck here all fucking day. And I traded my guitar at a Waystation months ago.

 

I pull out a battered copy of something – Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - and go to stretch out on the hood of the car, snagging a granola bar and a bottle of water from the back seat.

 

At least he's parked under a tree. The hood of the car is warm, and it's kind of nice not to be driving. But I got hours ahead of me, and I've read this book something like four times already, when we've had to stop before.

 

'Course – we've never stopped in the Wasteland before, and I get an itchy feeling between my shoulderblades before long – like I'm being watched. I glance back into the car, but Adam's asleep on the front passenger seat. It's not him.

 

I turn to the other side, and then I see her, standing a few feet away from the car.

 

When she sees I've noticed her, she comes closer and I feel my breath tighten a little.

 

And – shit. Okay. Me and Adam ... we've been together for three years now. Including this last fucked-up year in the Outlands. And yeah, we got shit when we got together; there was a real media storm for a while, until Britney or Lindsay or fucking Brad and Angelina did something scandal-worthy.

 

And I didn't "turn gay" for Adam or whatever, and he didn't "corrupt" me (I was 28 for fuck's sake – half the media acted like I was some kind of wide-eyed teenager) – and I'd been around more blocks than Adam had.

 

I also fucked relationships up. I told him that, and all he said was – "Doesn't matter. All you have to do is not fuck up _one_ relationship. That's all it takes." And yeah – that worked for us. Really well.

 

At least – until it didn't. I mean, until that fucking show.

 

The girl ... she looks like a composite of every girlfriend I ever had – she's a little shorter than me; curvy with dark hair and dark eyes. Should've sparked a warning then. But – it's been a year, and I haven't even _seen_ Adam except as a cat.

 

So by the time I was in the Vamps' colony ... it was too late.

 

**Adam**

I know something's wrong. Even before I turn back, I know something's wrong. I sleep a lot, as a cat, and I know Tommy does too, but I still feel things, way down deep.

 

When I turn back, I look around, expecting to see Tommy – on the hood of the car, maybe – there's a book facedown, and a bottle of water, but – no Tommy.

 

I feel the panic rising like nausea, and I call out: "Tommy! _TOMMY_," but all I get back are echoes in the night. I can see the path we need to be on, glowing in front of me, but I can't – I can't go _on_. I circle the car, once, twice ... searching the ground – what I can see of it in the dark – but there's nothing. There's no sign of him at all.

 

I can't breathe, there's not enough air, what if he's gone what if I've lost him there's no fucking _air_ ... I hit the hood, hard, the vibrating pain snapping me out of the near-panic attack.

 

That won't help.

 

Help. I need help. I dig my fingers into the hood of the car, and try to ignore the noises around me – nightbirds, I think, although I can hear distant screaming. It's not Tommy. It can't be. He's a cat now. He's fine, he's got to be fine, if he's not fine ... Aurora.

 

Her name surfaces in my mind and I take a breath. If I can contact Aurora, maybe she can help me ... if ... I reach into my front pocket and take out my phone – an older-style cellphone, that we both have – my iPhone and Tommy's Blackberry long gone.

 

Maybe, just maybe ... she hadn't given me a number or anything, but being at a Waystation for as long as we had ... sometimes you absorb its contacts. There. Under "A" is a number I don't recognise, and one that wouldn't work out in the real world.

 

I hit the button and start praying. Someone answers at the other end and it's staticky, but – "Aurora? Is that you?"

 

"Adam? What's wrong?"

 

I nearly laugh with relief. "It's Tommy. He's – he's gone. I – changed, and he's gone and I don't want to leave the car, and I can hear _screaming_"

 

"Adam, Adam calm down, take a breath. The screaming can't be Tommy, it's just – it's just the Wasteland fucking with you. Stay on the phone, okay? I'm coming to find you. Just – don't move."

 

It feels like forever, as I wait, leaning against the car and tracing the stars, trying to find familiar constellations, and failing. Everything out here is different and for a moment I feel the same disorentation I felt when this first happened.

 

Then I hear the roar of an engine, and Aurora is pulling up beside me on a huge, old Harley. She takes of her helmet and shakes out her dreads, leaving the engine rumbling and the headlight on. Holding out a second helmet she says, "Hop on. I think I know where he is."

 

"Where?" I ask as I put the helmet on and sling my leg over the seat, settling behind Aurora.

 

She turns her head and there's a worried frown on her face. "Short version ... there's a Vamp colony out here. You and Tommy ... you've been together for a while. I mean – out there," she says, waving her hand vaguely.

 

"Three years," I say, startled to realise it's true.

 

"And he's ... I mean ... he dated women before, right? Before you?"

 

My turn to frown. "I hope this is going somewhere. But yes. He did." My voice sounds high and strained and I reach into the back seat, grabbing a bottle of water. It's warm now, but it helps.

 

"The Vamps ... the colonies are all females. They can change their appearances – make themselves look appealing to whoever they've targeted – then they overwhelm them and -"

 

"I can – guess the rest," I say, a sick feeling twisting low in my gut.

 

"Put your helmet on, and hold on tight. We got a long ride ahead of us – you'll probably turn again not long after we get there. But I promise you Adam ... I'll get him back for you."

 

My throat dries up and my tongue feels thick. "Just ... let's go."

 

We roar off into the night – into the Wasteland.

 

**Tommy**

I'm dreaming. I have to be dreaming, but I don't want to wake up because this is the best fucking dream I've ever had. Someone's sucking my dick, and I can't see who it is, but goddamn, I can _feel_ it and it feels – I wake up as the sunrise hits me square in the eyes, filtered though it is through dusty windows.

 

Two things register: I'm not at the car any more, and it's ... not a dream. I'm in a rundown house, on a sofa and there's – shit – there's the girl I saw yesterday and she's ... oh, God. Fuck. A _year_ I think, dazed still, as I come, hard, watching foggily as her throat works to swallow, and the last time Adam and I were together – doing the same thing – fleets through my mind before it's gone again.

 

When she pulls off, that's when I see her fangs. And I know I'm _fucked_. I blink against the sun, and shove my dick back into my jeans, pulling the zipper up as she sits back on her heels, smirking.

 

"I have to – I need to ..." I fold my lips back on to my teeth to stop myself from babbling. I gotta get out of here. I know that much. Vamps ... if they get their fangs into you ... you're a goner.

 

I get up from the couch, but fall back again when she moves – too fast for me to see – and pushes me back, straddling me and pinning me there. Her fangs flash in the sun as she grins again.

 

"Going somewhere?" Her voice is like gravel crunched under tires, but I can feel my body reacting to it anyway – pushing up against her. Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck.

 

"I -" Whatever I was going to say next is lost when someone starts hammering on the door. Not knocking - _hammering_ and for a wild minute I think it's Adam. Which is impossible. He's a cat by now ... I let out an "oof" when she pushes off, and she's at the door, peering out of the side window.

 

I think for a crazy second of trying to find the back way out, but if there's more than one Vamp here ... I don't stand a chance. Besides, you can't leave a Vamp colony unless they say you can.

 

Unless it's the Vamp police trying to hammer the door down, I'm stuck.

 

"I know you're in there," I hear and holy fuck, it's Aurora. "Open the fucking door, Lili!"

 

"Or what, Aurora? What're you going to do? Knock it down? You can't come in anyway!"

 

I come up behind Lili and try and peer through the window but it's smudged and grimy. The fuck, I'm dead anyway if I stay here.

 

"Aurora! A-" Lili turns and wraps her hand around my throat, choking my shouts back as she knocks me against the wall.

 

"You. Are not going _anywhere_. Especially not with some little Waystation slut who thinks she's a fucking _witch_."

 

"Lili, _Lili_ let him go or I swear I will blow up this whole fucking colony! I don't need to be asked in to do that – you know I don't!"

 

I'm trying to pull breath into my lungs, but my vision's going a bit gray. I can hear Aurora and Lili shouting at each other, and a weird, loud growling that takes me a minute to get: it's Adam.

 

Lili looks right at me then, her eyes lit with madness. "That your boyfriend out there? Two for the price of one. It's a _good -_"

 

That's her last word. The door blows inwards and a sharp shard of wood pierces her temple. She collapses to the floor in a pool of blood, her eyes wide. She twitches once, and then she's still.

 

The Vamps – they're bloodsuckers, but they're human. Sort of.

 

I slump against the wall, shocked, and frozen.

 

"_Tommy!_ _Move_!"

 

I turn my head and it feels like slow-motion. I hear more Vamps coming from other parts of the house and they're fucking _hissing_, and I can see Aurora and Adam – he's all puffed up and still growling, his teeth bared in frustration.

 

"You gotta jump, Tommy, the barrier's down but I can't hold it for long!"

 

I stare for a second, but her words aren't processing. Then Adam lets out the kind of howl you only ever hear from wild, desperate animals and that gets me moving.

 

I run for the blasted door, expecting to be torn apart by the Vamps' barrier, but I go straight through, running too fast to stop and I clatter down the steps from the porch, catching myself on the railing at the bottom.

 

Adam's right there, and I pick him up, feeling him tremble under his fur.

 

Aurora tosses me a helmet and I see the bike for the first time.

 

"Come on! Move! You gotta go now!"

 

She takes something out of the side-bag – a fucking _whip_ I realise and she cracks it once on the ground, hard.

 

"You can't wait now. You've got to get to the house as soon as you can – follow the line."

 

I look and there's a glowing line cutting across the Wasteland, pointing straight toward a cliff in the distance.

 

"What about you?" I ask, even as I put Adam on the seat so I can put the helmet on.

 

"We have ... business," Aurora says, grim, as she turns back to the Vamps' colony.

 

"We ..."

 

As I straddle the bike, settling in behind Adam, and oh, God I hope he can hang on, I see more people heading towards the colony: other Waystation owners I think – I recognise a few.

 

"Go on – get out of here. _Go!_"

 

And then we're gone, roaring across the Wasteland. I hear a roar and a boom behind me, but I can't look back, but I feel heat on my back as we ride away.

 

"Shit," I say, as we ride. "I hope she's -" another loud boom nearly rocks the bike away from the line, and I have to hang on tight to correct. "Fuck. Hang on, okay," I shout to Adam over the engine's roar as he digs his claws in and flattens his ears. It's then I realise he's still growling.

 

The sound sends a shiver up the back of my neck as I race toward the cliff.

 

**Adam**

The sun goes down and I catch a glimpse of dark eyes and long eyelashes, a hand reaching out, and then ... it's dark. I wait for my eyes to adjust to the night, and I can still see an orange glow in the distance. The Vamps' house. If I were a cat, my hackles would be up right now.

 

I look at Tommy and he's puffed up, baring his teeth. "Come on," I say. "We need to find a way to the top of this thing."

 

I find the staircase about halfway around. It looks old, and crumbling, but the cliff is so fucking sheer, there's no other way up.

 

"Ready to climb?" But Tommy's way ahead of me, tripping up the stairs lightly, looking back as if to tell me to hurry up.

 

"All right for you," I mutter, cautiously putting my foot on the first step. "You have four legs."

 

My legs start aching after a while, and my world shrinks to the next step ... and the next step ... and the next step. It's the longest night I've ever spent in the Outlands. Tommy stays with me; a little ahead, even though he could easily race to the top.

 

I'm mostly feeling my way, my hand on an ancient rail beside the stairs as the night is so fucking dark, I can barely see, even when my eyes adjust. I'm going so slowly, I'm convinced we won't get to the top of the cliff before morning, but suddenly Tommy stops right in front of me.

 

"Tommy ..." I say, and my chest feels tight from the unexpected exercise. My legs are shaking, my grip is slipping, and I'd be hard-pressed to fend off an ant, but then I realise – we're at the top. I don't know whether it's an effect of the Wasteland that makes the cliff shorter than it appears from the bottom, or the stairs, or what, but I don't care. I pull myself over the edge, and collapse on the ground, turning my head in time to see the sun rising.

 

"Tommy ..." I say again, even as my voice fades.

 

**Tommy**

I turn as we change, and I can hear it. I can fucking hear my name fading as Adam turns into a cat and the sun rises. And well. Fuck. We're at the top of the cliff, and call me a coward, or selfish, or whatever, but I really hoped I wouldn't be the one confronting the bitch who did this to us.

 

The bitch who's just come out of the house, which is really close to the edge of the cliff - tall and rickety, it looks like it's about to go over the edge. She's running straight for us. Adam backs up until he's pressed against my legs, and I can feel his growls, humming through my legs. His hackles are up and his teeth bared.

 

She stops right in front of us, teetering on her feet as Adam growls louder, and louder, practically pushing me away from her. "Adam," I say quietly, reaching down to stroke him even as I hear her hiss at me – fucking _hiss_ \- "You're gonna have to calm down. We'll go over the edge of the cliff."

 

He stops pushing, but the rumbling growls still roll out of his throat as we both stare at the woman who's made our lives for the past year a living hell.

 

"How did you find me?" she asks, looking at Adam the whole time and the _way_ she's looking at him turns my stomach. I have to focus and I am so fucking far out of my depth I feel like I'm drowning.

 

"We got lucky," I say, wanting to be anyfuckingwhere else but here.

 

"Lucky," she echoes, mocking. She's skinnier than I remember, and she looks just like Aurora – except her face is lined, and she looks exhausted.

 

"Yeah. Lucky. We're here - we're here to - to -"

 

"I know why you're here," she says, still not looking at me. "And I have ... a proposition for you," she says, looking right at Adam.

 

"A proposition," I say blankly as my heart sinks. Knew it couldn't be this easy.

 

"Yes. But first ..." she points at Adam and murmurs something low under her breath, that makes my skin feel tight all over, and my fucking _hair_ hurts and then -

 

"Adam." He's right there. He's human and he's - "_Tommy_" and oh, God his hands are on me, and his _mouth_, and for a moment I can forget where we are, because his skin is soft under my fingers and it's been so - "If you boys don't mind ..."

 

Shit. Adam presses his forehead against mine and says, "Hi," soft and sweet and I don't want to let go. He traces his fingers over my face, like he's trying to memorise it, before turning around. He pulls me against him, so my back is flush to his chest, and wraps his arms around me and, oh God it feels good.

 

She looks _furious_ but Adam's heart is beating steady against me and I really don't care about anything else.

 

"What's your deal," Adam says and his voice is low, but I can tell he's angry. His muscles are corded and tight, and his hands curl around mine like he's never going to let go.

 

"It's this: I'll leave you both human - if you agree to stay here. With me."


	3. And the greatest of these

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For the teamlambliff AU fic meme. Prompt was: Lambliff!Cat AU. Think Ladyhawke, I want Tommy to be a cat during the day, Adam during the night. Run with it. Um. My most sincere apololgies to Mr Neil Gaiman and Mr Stephen King. I accidentally wrote this as some kind of fucked-up American Gods/Talisman road trip ... thing. Beta'd by i_bleed_magenta  
> Title from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13; this chapter title from 1 Corinthians 13:13

**Adam**  
I want to scream. Shout NO at her as loud as I can. I'm about to when she makes a gesture with her hand, and Tommy's ripped away from me. I stumble and I have time to think _but I just got him back_ when he's floating - _floating_ over the edge of the cliff.

She turns back to me, her arm extended out, and says, "Well? Thirty seconds. Then I drop him."

I stare at Tommy for a long moment, memorising the features I haven't seen except in dreams, or fragments, for a year and I feel my heart give a painful thud.

_I'm sorry_ I mouth at him, looking right at his wide, dark eyes. He nods at me, once, and I say to Glenda the bad fucking witch, "Fine. I'll stay. Just – just don't hurt him."

I have no choice, I tell myself. No choice.

"I knew you'd see it my way," Glenda (I have no idea what her real name is – I don't care) twists her hand – something and I feel a ringing in my ears and – "He's gone." I'm not aware I said it out loud and oh God what if – I shuffle to the edge of the cliff and peer over, squinting as I try to see the ground, but it's too far away.

I turn around and have a terrible, strong urge to slap the smirk off Glenda's face. "Where is he? If he's lying at the bottom of that cliff ..." my mouth dries up and I can't even – I can't face that thought at all.

"Relax," she says, still smirking. "I sent him home – back to the _real_wasteland – Los Angeles. Now, would you like the grand tour of your new home? You might as well relax, Adam. You're going to be here for a while."

I bite my lip and glance over the edge again. I can't see the ground. But she has no reason to lie, and if Tommy were ... if I'd lost him that way – I would know. I would _know_.

She comes towards me and reaches out her hand. I recoil back and stumble for a second before regaining my footing.

"I might be forced to stay here with you, you fucking ... _witch_, but don't. Fucking. Touch. Me," I grind out between gritted teeth. If I have to be here like this – without Tommy – then it's going to be on _my_ terms.

She pulls back her arm, her mouth twisting for a moment. "Fine. This way." She turns and heads back to the house, leaving me no choice but to follow.

Enemy or not, The Wasteland isn't the kind of place you want to be caught out alone.

_Alone_ I think as I turn to follow in Glenda's wake. For a moment I don't think I can move at all – the sense of being _truly_ alone out here is nearly enough to break me. As fucked-up as the past year has been, at least Tommy and I had each other.

It gave me a weird kind of strength to keep going. And now ... I close my eyes for a moment and I can _see_ him right in front of me: I can feel his hot, smooth skin under my fingertips, and see his eyes on my face.

And that's enough to get me moving. I'll never get Tommy back if I just stand on the edge of the cliff. The way back is the way forward, and I force myself to follow Glenda.

**Tommy**  
I've never been so fucking scared. I'm hanging in mid-air, and I can't move and all I can do is keep my eyes fixed on Adam's face. I want to shout at him; tell him that I've changed my mind, that he should do anything he can to get away from that _bitch_ but I can't even whisper, let alone shout.

Then I see her make some kind of movement with her arm and I try and reach out I try - and the next thing I know – as though I haven't moved at all – I'm stumbling against a chair in a kitchen, the rattle as it pushes against the table shockingly loud.

I hear someone and I turn in time to see Leila rushing into the kitchen, brandishing what looks like a baseball bat, which she drops as soon as she sees me and the next thing I know she's hugging me and saying my name over and over, and oh, God, I have to tell her about Adam.

She finally lets me go, and I realise that I've been sent home – to the house we bought about 18 months ago and I have to sit down.

"I'm – sorry," I say, still dazed as Leila sits down, taking my hands like she can't believe I'm here. _I_ don't fucking believe I'm here.

Leila's been staying here while we've been ... she's been staying here; taking care of the house, and the fan mail that still comes in apparently, even after a year and – I shake my head. "Sorry," I say again.

Leila studies me for a moment, then gets up, and I hear a bottle and glass clink together; something liquid. She sits back down with two glasses of whiskey, one of which she puts in front of me. I grab it and drink half of it down, choking a little as the alcohol burns, but now I can fucking _breathe_.

"Tommy," Leila says, looking straight at me as she sips her own drink. "Where's – where's Adam?"

I take another drink, and stare down at the table, before looking up and meeting Leila's worried eyes – so much like Adam's. "He's. He's ... still out there. In the – he's in the Wasteland."

"The Wasteland," Leila says, puzzled. Shit. Of course.

Most people on the ... outside – they know about the Outlands – in general terms, anyway. What they are; how they operate, that that's where you go when you're out of options and you need a miracle. Or where you need to be if you don't feel like explaining why you turn into a cat every 12 hours, and you've tracked the witch who did this to you to - "Yeah, the Wasteland. It's – it's like the Outlands but it's worse. Way worse. We ... tracked the woman there. The one who – did this to us."

I stop for another drink and shift my shoulders under my t-shirt; feeling the tension riding them hard.

"She ... made a bargain. With – Adam. She'd let me go if, if he stayed there. And then she - " I finish the drink and curl my hands around the glass. "She hung me over the edge of a cliff so he had no choice."

Leila just – she stares at me, her eyes wide and horrified. "And when he -" her voice is high, and strained, so I just nod. "When he agreed to ... stay ... I guess she sent me back here."

"Right. So – now what?"

I run my hand through my hair and bite down on my lip, hard.

"I need ... I need to find a Crossroads. It's the only way back into the Outlands. But – the Crossroads move. They never stay fixed in the same place and the one we used to _get_ to the Outlands in the first place ... it won't be where it was."

Leila stares at me for a moment, blinking. "You're going back there," she says and it's not quite a question.

"Well... yeah. Of course I'm going back there. I'm not just going to abandon Adam to that – and I can't -" the words I want to say tangle in my throat around the lump that's risen because I can't – "I have to go back," I say quietly, staring down at the dregs of my drink. "I need him, Leila. I need him ... back."

Leila reaches out, and takes my hand. I hold on tight for a moment, and aim for a smile. "What do we need to do?"

I close my eyes and think back to when this first happened and we found out the woman had come from the Outlands. We'd – Adam – had gone to his friends. And he'd found – through Scarlett, or Roxy, or someone – this old man, who tracked the movements of the Crossroads – had done for years, and we'd found our way there through him.

I'm about to tell Leila this when something makes her shout, and I hear her chair clatter to the floor. My eyes flare open and I expect God-knows-what to have happened, but there's just a piece of thick paper on the table. And – okay it wasn't there before, and it's kind of smoking and charred at the edges, but I've seen way worse in the past year, so I just go and help Leila up, and right her chair.

"You okay?" I ask as I pour her another whiskey and sit down, reaching for the paper, avoiding the edges.

"I am now," she says, her voice steady as she takes a drink. "But what's – where did that come from?"

"The Outlands," I say, looking down at it. It's a sketch – a map, I realise, and at the bottom, there's an elaborate, black-ink 'A'. "It's from Aurora," I mutter, still looking at the paper, and tracing the lines of the map with my finger.

There's ... our house, in the middle, and there's a compass drawn at the top of the page ... I trace the lines and sketches over, and over again, and there's something I'm not quite – "Holy shit," I say quietly when I realise the pattern I'm making with my finger. It's not just a map – it's ... I look up at Leila as my heart starts racing.

"It's – directions. To the nearest Crossroads. Aurora's – she's kind of a witch. It was her mother who ... did this to us. She's been helping us. I guess she figured out a way to get a message across."

I turn the paper over, and there's a tiny, cartoon cat moving over the back of the page. I push it across the table, showing to Leila.

"There – that's how she found me ... it's some kind of searching spell, I think," I say, dredging my memory for bits and pieces about magic I had picked up in the Outlands in the past year.

Leila studies the small cat as she drains the rest of her whiskey, her eyes on my face. "Right. What are we waiting for? Let's go."

I jump at the sound of her voice, which is loud and sudden. "Wait – what? Leila ... "

"No, Tommy. Don't argue with me. I'm coming with you. That ... woman stole my son from me. She put this look -" she lays her palm on my cheek – "On the face of the man that my son loves. This time ... this time she's going to answer to _me_."

And I really can't argue with that. For a fleeting moment, seeing the look in Leila's eyes, I almost feel sorry for that bitch.

Almost.

**Adam**  
As soon as we get inside Glenda's house, I want to run screaming and throw myself off the cliff. It's only the thought of Tommy out there – somewhere – that keeps me where I am.

Her living room – her fucking _house_ is a shrine.

To me.

I'm ... everywhere. Pictures. Tour programmes. Merchandise. CDs. Scraps of things ... earrings that I've lost – my ... "That's my grandfather's ring, you crazy bitch!" I snatch it up from the table where it's jumbled with a bunch of other stuff – feathers, I think, odd earring, fucking rhinestones even – all under this giant poster of me from the Idol tour.

I feel sick.

I'd lost the ring about two years ago, in ... London, maybe? Fuck. Me and Tommy had torn apart our hotel room ... the rest of the band's rooms, the venue, the restaurant we'd been at the night before ... shaking my head – trying to clear out the memories that are crowding in – I slip it on my finger and feel a little better as the cool metal warms to my skin.

"You dropped it backstage," Glenda says, staring at me like she can't believe I'm here. At least she's not moving. Not trying to get ... closer.

"I went to all of your shows. You – you looked right at me. I thought – I thought we ... had a bond. Something _special_. I followed you from, from country to country, just _waiting_, and then when you finished your tour in the US, I thought ... I saw you look right at me and I knew that you were just _waiting_ for me, and I – when I went backstage and I _saw_ you with that, with that little ... that little _slut_ I -"

That's when I move. I'm right in her face before I know it and I hadn't realised before – she's tall – she's looking me right in the eye; her cheeks flushed red with anger.

"Don't." I say, my hand twitching. "Don't you _ever_ talk about him like that. Or at _all_ you -"

"You're here, aren't you?" she asks, her voice cold. "You're not with your precious little ... _Tommy_ now, are you? You're with me – and you're _staying_ with me." Her hand is gripping my arm now, tight and it's all I can do not to push her away.

"Yeah. You've got me. But you had to use Tommy to get me here. You had to threaten his _life_ just to get me into your house. I'm just another trophy to you, aren't I? Just another part of your sick fucking collection."

I shake her hand off my arm – not gently, and I'm not proud of it – and stalk across the room, anger boiling under my skin like lava. I'm assuming I can't leave this cursed fucking house, but that doesn't mean I can't get some distance.

I find myself in the kitchen, staring out a giant picture window at the blasted, bleak landscape. It looks like nothing grows out here at all – the ground is bare, and rocky. Something shimmers in the air not far from the house, and I blink, rubbing my eyes, but ... it's still there.

I hear Glenda coming up behind me and shift away instinctively; the touch of her hand is still burning on my arm and I want to put as much distance between us as I can.

"It's a force-field," she says, and I can't suppress the shudder at the quiet pride in her voice. "No one can get in, and you can't get out unless you're with me."

I lean my hands on the windowsill, and just stare, my heart dropping like a stone. Tommy's out there somewhere – in LA according to Glenda but how do I know for sure?

And even if – when, actually if I know anything at all about Tommy – he comes back for me ... I can't take my eyes off the force field, but I have to know – "If ... something – runs into it. What – what happens?"

"They die," she says, matter-of-fact before turning away from the window. "Are you hungry? Because I am."

And my life descends into another level of hell.


	4. The Tongues of Men and Angels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: For the teamlambliff AU fic meme. Prompt was: Lambliff!Cat AU. Think Ladyhawke, I want Tommy to be a cat during the day, Adam during the night. Run with it. Um. My most sincere apololgies to Mr Neil Gaiman and Mr Stephen King. I accidentally wrote this as some kind of fucked-up American Gods/Talisman road trip ... thing. Beta'd by i_bleed_magenta  
> Title from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13.

**Tommy**

It's some kind of vacant lot – overgrown and overlooked. It's not far from the house, and I look around, searching for ... "There," I say to Leila, pointing to a little shimmer in the air in the middle of the lot. "That's what we're looking for. You ready?"

Leila studies me for a minute, and it hurts a little; how much she reminds me of Adam. Not so much in looks, but in determination. She laces her fingers through mine and says, "I'm ready. Let's go."

It's just a matter of walking through the shimmer. It doesn't feel like anything at all, but it's a mindfuck – vacant lot one step, and finding ourselves outside Aurora's Waystation the next.

She's there, with a car and another guy, but I don't get to register much before she flings herself at me and I have to hold on, or we're both going to fall over.

"It found you," she says and I can hear the catch of laughter in her words.

"Yeah. It found me."

She pulls back and I get a good look at the guy for the first time.

"Aurora ... what the fuck?"

I step back and almost bump into Leila, who puts a hand on my arm. I look at her and feel a little steadier again.

"Tommy – what is it? What's going on?"

I lick my lips; dry all of a sudden. I'm so fucking out of my depth I feel like I'm going to drown, but then I look at Leila and I know that I have to get through this. No matter what.

"It's – it's a long story. Uh – this is Aurora. And this – this is Avery."

He slides off the hood of the car, and his eyes are wary, but he's smiling.

"No hard feelings, right?"

"Yeah – fuck you."

Aurora looks from me to Avery, and back; half-shrugging. "I'll explain later." She turns to Leila and studies her close. The way she's staring is starting to make me uncomfortable, but Leila just meets her eyes and doesn't move.

"You're Adam's mother."

"Yes. And your mother ..."

Aurora swallows hard and looks away for a moment – in the direction of the Wasteland, I think.

"Yes. My mother ... anyway. What I was going to say is – I'm glad you're here. Your energy ... here. Let me show you something."

I watch as Aurora leads Leila to the side of the road. Both women get down on their knees and Aurora says, "Here – watch." She pushes her hand into the dirt and watches Leila. "Magic out here – it's all about energy. There's different kinds of course. Your energy – " Aurora takes Leila's hand and pushes it into the dirt beside her own. "Feel that?"

Leila frowns for a moment, then looks at Aurora, startled. "Adam! I can feel – it's like I can feel his heartbeat!"

I move closer, and I'm conscious of Avery beside me, but I manage to ignore him.

Aurora stands up, and holds her hand out for Leila. "It's because you're his mother. And you are _pissed_. Tommy could probably feel it too, maybe, but it would take longer."

"That's all great. Are you done, Aurora, or have you got more little magic lessons to share?"

"Shut up, Avery, or I'll turn you into the spare tyre for your car. And yes, I'm _done_. We have to wait until night to drive through the Wasteland," she explains to Leila, gesturing towards her Waystation. "That's why I had the Crossroads bring you both here."

We wait inside Aurora's Waystation; me, Leila and Avery, while Aurora works. It's ... awkward, and it feels like _hours_. Leila can't sit still, and I won't take my eyes off Avery; him being here has brought up some dark memories.

I tense, when I sense night coming; still expecting the transformation, but nothing happens. I'm still human. I guess when Aurora's mom got what she wanted, she thought she didn't need the curse any more.

Aurora comes into the back room and studies the three of us; rolling her eyes. "Come on. We've got a long drive ahead of us. Ride up front with me, Leila. The boys can bond in the back seat."

"Aurora ..." I say, as we make our way to the car. The last thing I want is to be stuck with Avery. Nearly the last thing I want, as I think of Adam, trapped in that house with that fucking lunatic.

"I need to talk to Leila," Aurora says as she slides into the driver's seat, and I recognise that tone, even though I don't know Aurora that well. It's the same don't-fuck-with-me tone that I've heard a thousand times from my sister; from Leila; from my mother ... so I shut up and get in the backseat.

With Avery.

The guy who tried to sell me and Adam to the Carnival.

**Adam**  
Hell, apparently, looks exactly like my bedroom at home. Glenda insists on cooking, and keeping up a stream of small talk that sounds – and feels – like nails drilling into my skull.

As she talks I wonder about Tommy; whether she was lying about where she had sent him, or whether he's – I shut that train of thought down, because I can't – and tune out more of Glenda's babble by running songs through my head. I don't let myself think about trying to escape, or of being here forever ... both trains of thought will lead to madness.

So I go over and over lyrics in my head as she talks and eats; eats and talks.

After, she says, "I have a surprise for you. Follow me."

We go down a dim and shadowy hallway. At the end of it Glenda opens a door and steps back, studying my face for my reaction.

I stand in the doorway and stare, fighting down nausea.

It's an exact replica of my – of _our_ bedroom back home, in Los Angeles; down to the colour of the sheets and the rug covering the carpet on Tommy's side of the bed. My eyes roam over the room, and I'm struck with such powerful homesickness that I have to lean against the frame for a moment.

There's something ... "Where are the pictures?" I ask, half-turning to Glenda, even though I don't want to look at her. "Everything else – is here. Where are the pictures?"

"Oh, of you and your little sl – friend?" She leans in close, and I can smell cinnamon and something ... earthier. Like a garden that's been let go. Green, but not a healthy green.

"I decided you didn't need to be reminded of him any more. You're with _me_ now."

"How long. How long have you had this - " my voice dries up on me and I feel like I can barely stand.

"Since before ... I met you backstage at that concert. I wanted everything to be _right_ when you got here. You, of course, messed that up for me, didn't you."

Like the past year roaming the Outlands as a cat half the time and never really seeing Tommy was my own fault. I grip the door frame, hard, letting the wood dig into my palm, because otherwise I'm afraid I'm going to hit her.

"Try the bed," Glenda says, and I do look at her then, my stomach turning, but her expression is bland and unreadable.

"I'll check on you later."

And then I'm alone. In my own room. I half-hear Glenda shut the door, but I can't move. Everywhere I look, memories are coming at me like ghosts and I feel overwhelmed, lonely and scared.

The photos that Tommy put up everywhere – I was indifferent myself, but he insisted – are the only thing missing and I half-turn my head to where the master bathroom would be, almost expecting Tommy to come through the door, rubbing at his wet hair with a towel ...

I lean against the wall and slide to the floor. I can't move. All I can do is stare, as memory after memory floods my mind until I can't fucking take it and it fucking _hurts_. I press my hands into my forehead as hard as I can trying to make it -

**Tommy**

It's not the most comfortable ride I've ever had. Leila and Aurora are up front, talking and talking, and I'm stuck with Avery, the fucker. He tries to talk to me a couple of times, but I just - I ignore him and stare out the window even though I can't see anything.

I can kind of feel it when we drive into the Wastelands, though, and it makes me restless; makes my skin itch and I swear I can feel the blood moving through my body.

"I'm sorry," Avery says, suddenly, a little too loud, and I jump. I look up, and Aurora's looking at me in the rear view mirror. She stares at me for a moment, then turns her attention back to the road, faintly shimmering ahead of us.

"Sorry," I repeat, turning to stare. "We nearly fucking _died_," and I'm aware that I'm shouting and that Leila has half-turned to listen.

"What are you talking about? Nearly died how?"

I sit back and think of all the times we nearly died in the Outlands; all the times we – "It's a long story," I say as calmly as I can to Leila, shooting Avery a look before I lean forward to ask Aurora "What the fuck is going on, Aurora? Why is he here?"

"My Waystation was destroyed. After you and Adam got away from the Ringmaster ... he came looking for me. I managed to get away, but all I had was what I was wearing, and my car."

"He came to me," Aurora says, her eyes on the road as she picks up the story, and I know Leila is listening, hard. "And you know ... we have kind of a ... code, I guess. So – in exchange for the use of his car ... Avery's staying with me for a while. And helping you, now. Call it karma."

"Karma."

Great. Fucking _great_.

Aurora stops the car, and I realise we're at the base of the cliff already.

"That didn't take long."

"Magic," she says, her voice too bright as we gather at the base of the staircase. I realise she's scared at the same moment Leila does, and as I move, Leila wraps her arms around Aurora and holds on.

"That's – it's my mother, and I -"

"I know, honey, but this isn't the first time she's done this, is it?"

Aurora's head is resting on Leila's shoulder, and her dreads move a little when she shakes her head; not saying anything. "I was – a lot younger. I thought – I thought that she'd just ... brought someone home to play with. He wasn't - cursed like you were," she says, looking at me; her face streaked with tears, and I look up at the top of the cliff, almost involuntary; thinking of Adam up there with that woman and I can't -

**Adam**  
Stop. I need it to _stop_ because I'll go mad, and maybe that's what she wants, if she drives me insane, I'll give in, I'll cave and this will start making – I lift my head when I hear something crash somewhere in the house – like Glenda's just dropped something really heavy.

It snaps me out of the crazy circle my thoughts are taking and she's shouting or screaming but I can't hear the words in here – I stand and test the door, because I can't remember if she's locked it but it opens and I'm running because it doesn't make any sense, it can't be, but I _know_, I know – and I'm out the door, running and running and the only thing that stops me is another shout, and Glenda's hand on my arm, pulling me back.

But oh, God he's _right there_ and I still can't – I still can't fucking _touch_ him. Then I hear a voice I thought I would never hear again: "Adam! Oh my God, Adam."

I have to pinch myself. "Mom? What are you - _Mom_!" And I nearly start forward again, but Glenda grips my arm even tighter, and I swear she _hisses_ but Mom just – she stands her ground and she stares.

"You can't touch it," Glenda says, her voice contemptuous. "You'll die. You all will."

"Mom please -" I try and twist out of Glenda's grasp but she's holding on _tight_ and all I can do is watch.

Aurora steps up to stand beside Mom, and I register the fourth person for the first time, standing beside Tommy. _Avery?_ I look at Tommy and mouth _what the fuck_, but he just shrugs and shoves his hands in his pockets like he does when the world around him feels too big to deal with.

There are hundreds of pap photos of him in that exact same position and it makes my heart _ache_ to see him standing there like that, but – we both turn to look at my mother and Aurora at the same time, and I forget Avery is there. I suppose Aurora has a good reason for bringing him and she's _here_, so that's enough for me.

"Remember what we talked about in the car," Aurora says to Mom, even as she keeps a wary eye on Glenda. "You need to find the energy. Find the – the fold. Where it joins. You're the best one to find it. And despite what _my_ mother says, it won't kill you."

"Mom, no, don't please -" because Aurora doesn't sound as sure about that as I want her to and Glenda's already shouting at her, and Tommy's looking at Mom, but Mom doesn't pay any attention to anyone. She's looking right at me, and she's smiling that smile that I know – that I've seen ever since I was little and my heart turns over again, because no matter what anyone says, she's going to do this and I can't stop her.

Mom looks right into my eyes and says, "It's all right, honey. Trust me. Just – I will get you out of here. And then," she says, her voice turning to ice and steel as she looks at Glenda, "I'm going to deal with _you_."


	5. ... is love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: For the teamlambliff AU fic meme. Prompt was: _Lambliff!Cat AU. Think Ladyhawke, I want Tommy to be a cat during the day, Adam during the night. Run with it_. Um. My most sincere apololgies to Mr Neil Gaiman and Mr Stephen King. I accidentally wrote this as some kind of fucked-up American Gods/Talisman road trip ... thing. Beta'd by i_bleed_magenta  
> A/N: Title from the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nothing herein belongs to me. I'm just playing in the sandbox for a bit :)

**Leila**  
My son. _My son_. Who I carried for nine months, and watched grow up into a beautiful, talented, successful man who found what we all crave: love.

I knew Adam's path was never going to be easy. I also knew that I would do whatever I could to help him make his mark on the world.

My son, who had so much talent and energy as a child. My son with a passion for life and for music … my son.

I stare at the woman gripping his arm and have to clench my fists so I don't just try and burst through the damn … forcefield or whatever it is and tear him away from her. This woman – who has caused me so much misery over the past year, my life patched together with staticky, faint phone calls, imagining all kinds of horrors for Adam and Tommy.

Later, I will collapse. Later, I will no doubt freak out about all of this, and wonder if it wasn't all some kind of terrible dream. Right now … right now, my son needs me.

I'm vaguely aware of Tommy standing beside me, and I can feel his energy like I can feel Adam's but it's fainter – like music coming from a neighbour's house. Adam – Adam's energy is ringing through me like the clearest note he's ever sung in his life. I can hear Aurora talking to me soft and urgent, her eyes on her mother on the other side of this damn barrier and I spare a thought for the girl before I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and reach out my hand; feeling for Adam's energy that's as familiar to me as my own heartbeat.

My fingertips touch something, and I feel a tingle go through my hand – like I've touched a small, live wire and I know I've found the barrier. Carefully I move along; keeping my eyes closed, feeling Tommy's hand on my arm as I feel it out.

There are so many _stories_ and noises in this thing – it's like filtering out voices at a noisy party until you find the one that you – "There. I have it."   
Adam's energy is as clear to me as is the feel of Tommy's hand, that unconsciously tightens on my arm. I open my eyes and stare right at the woman – who is _snarling_ at me even as I point, and pin her to the spot.

"I've got you."

I reach for Aurora's hand and say, "It's all right. It can't hurt you now. Here. The fold is here." And together, we tear it apart, ripping at the air like weak fabric shredding under our fingers, and oh my god - _Adam_. He's running and picking me up and all I can do for a moment is hold on.

_My son_. I haven't seen him in a year and all I want to do now is take him home, and hide him from the world. But I fight that down and step back just in time for Tommy to fling himself into Adam's arms; not saying anything but holding on tight.  
I turn my attention to the – woman who did this to them. Who stole a year of their – and my – life. She faces me, but I can see her thinking, trying to find a way out. Adam and Tommy are watching me from the side; and Aurora and Avery are looking at her.  
Aurora turns to me. "Leila … I know – what she did was – wrong and it … hurt all of you. But – please. She's my mother."

I half-turn to answer Aurora when another voice is heard; carrying across the desolate air.

"Well now. Isn't this _touching_."

There's a man watching all of us, hands on his hips, his head cocked. He's tall – taller than Adam – and thin. He's dressed all in black and he's carrying … a whip.  
"You _fucker!_" Tommy's struggling hard against Adam, yelling at Avery. "You fucking asshole! You –"

I turn to Aurora, confused. "What's going on?" I can feel that woman start to slip away from me; starting to move and I turn back as fast as I can. "You," I say as levelly as I can manage, "are not going anywhere," and I'm gratified to see her stop in her tracks.

Now everyone is looking at me – the newcomer included and, for the first time since Adam and Tommy left for the Outlands – I feel a sliver of real fear.

Well. All right then. "Tommy," I say, without looking. "Calm down. It's going to be all right." Whether that's a lie or not; I don't know. But it's enough that he subsides against Adam, staring daggers at Avery who looks … caught.

We're all frozen for a moment in a bizarre kind of stand-off. It's the newcomer, finally, who breaks the silence, after he's studied us all in turn. "Well. What a lovely reunion. But I think it's time to break the party up. You two are coming with me. And this time, you are _not_ getting away."

I'm moving before I realise it; standing between him and my boys. "And you are?" I ask, as calmly as I can.

"He's the Ringmaster," Tommy says softly from behind me. "He's the Ringmaster of the Carnival. Avery – Avery tried to … sell us to him before. I guess he's a little pissed that we got away."

Oh. I see. The Ringmaster turns to me and I'm aware that I've said that out loud. He frowns, and moves to come towards us, but staggers, and stops in place. "You – what did you do?"

Oh, I could get used to this. "You can't have them. You can't _take_ them, they are not going _anywhere_ with you!" It's only when I hear my voice echo around us all do I realise I'm shouting.

"Touching," he says again flicking his wrist so the end of his whip makes a pattern in the sandy ground. "But _someone_ is coming with me, or Avery's life is forfeit."

"Avery … what did you do?" Aurora is backing away from him, staring like she's never seen him before.

"I – got into a game. With … some of the Carnival workers. And yes, before you say anything, I know it was stupid, okay? I thought – "

"You thought you could win." Aurora's voice is bitter and she turns to give me a long look. It takes me a minute to understand. "Oh, honey – are you sure?"

"Y-yes. I mean – she's my mother, but … what she did. It's. It's a crime. Even out here, Transformation is against the rules. And so much misery …"

"So. Who is it to be?" The Ringmaster asks again. "Because I don't have _all_ day."

Aurora's mother gets it a heartbeat before I step right into her space. She's taller than me, and I have to look up, but that doesn't matter. She starts talking, fast. Begging; pleading; bargaining. I'm not listening.

"Here. Here's your forfeit." And I push her as hard as I can; with all the force of a year's worth of anger, and grief, and worry. I push her right into him, and as his whip snakes out to wind around her legs, dragging her into the whirlpool of sand that's opening up, I feel strong arms grab me and pull me back from the vortex.   
"Mom. Mom, I've got you. Mom," Adam says it over and over again; like he can't believe it. The whirlpool closes; the Ringmaster and Aurora's mother are gone; and we're left in this strange place.

Aurora steps up to Avery and slaps him, hard, across the face. "You. Have _so much_ explaining to do. But first – you need to help me open a Crossroads. We need to send them _home_."

**Tommy**  
And just like that, it's over. It's fucking _over_. Avery and Aurora open a Crossroads for us and – we're _home_.

We stand in the kitchen of Adam's and my house, looking at each other for a moment; holding our breath. I start laughing first because – Jesus _Christ!_

"We're home." Adam sounds dazed, like he doesn't quite believe it and I have to lean on him because I'm still laughing, because … we're _home._

He puts an arm around my waist and looks down at me; smiling wide and bright, and suddenly I can't breathe.

_Home_.

"Uh … boys?"

I blink and shake my head; leaning against Adam and oh god that feels good – he feels so warm and real and _there_. I drag my eyes away from his face to look at Leila and then we're all hugging and laughing again.

"Mom. Mom, you did it. Oh my god you got us out of there. Mom, I thought I'd never see you again, or get home, or see Tommy, oh my god …"

"Adam, Adam breathe. It's all right. You're both back. You're both home. You're safe."  
_We're both back …_ I catch Adam's eye and grin, raising my eyebrows. It's probably rude, or something, to leave Leila right now, since she hasn't seen us in a year, but well … it's been a year … Adam smiles back at me, a filthy smirk that lets me know fuck yeah; he knows what I'm thinking.

"Uh … Mom. It's um. It's awesome to see you, it really is, and I know that you're already planning the welcome home party in your head …"

I laugh when a slightly guilty look flashes across Leila's face, but she just smiles. "You boys want to be alone for a bit? If I could – I would give you all the time in the world. But you being back … you're not going to be able to keep that a secret for long."

"And we don't want to," I say, wrapping an arm around Adam's waist. "We want to see everybody, but … we haven't really seen each other in a year, so …"

"Is a day long enough? Two days?"

Adam sighs and I feel his lips on the top of my head for a moment. "I want to say a week; or a month, but … I think – two days has to be long enough. Plan your party, mom, for two days' time. Order whatever food you like – invite everyone we know. We'll be, uh …"

Leila holds up her hand, laughing. "You can stop there, honey. Come here." Leila hugs us both in turn, one more time, her eyes bright.

"You have no idea how happy I am. I love you both. I'll see you in a couple of days for the party."

Leila's barely out the front door, and we're racing each other up the stairs, shedding clothes and shoes as we go until we kind of collapse on the bed; making out like fucking teenagers. I don't know where I want to put my hands first, and I tangle them in Adam's hair before sliding my fingers over his back that makes him arch up and _oh_.

He scrambles in the nightstand, looking for our emergency stash and comes back with an unopened bottle of lube in his hand and a wide, completely filthy smile on his face.

After that everything kind of … blurs into a haze of _skin_ and _need_ and the kind of deep, drugging kisses that I remember dreaming about in the Outlands.

We lie tangled in the sheets after; sweaty and messy and we can't stop touching each other.

"I keep thinking you're going to disappear again," Adam says quietly, nudging one leg between mine until we're so tangled together I can't tell any more where Adam ends and I start.

"Yeah. Me too. I keep expecting … " I turn and look out the window and realize that the sun has just set. "I keep expecting to lose you again."

Adam kisses my shoulder, then makes his way along my collarbone; up my neck; over my jaw – a tiny, tracking path of heat that makes me restless all over again.

"Never," he whispers right against my mouth, as I lower myself on to him; we're face-to-face and wrapped around each other like … there's nothing else in the whole world. He kisses me again, hard, and his words rumble against my throat before he licks a hot, wet stripe up my neck, stealing my breath and any thoughts I might have had in my head along with it.

"Never again."


End file.
